 The prize for the most absurd invention, ever goes to – drum roll please – The Leaf Blower! I will slightly admit that its original use may have made sense. After all, raking leaves is something of a chore, especially if you have a lot of trees. However, when every single lawn maintenance person decided that it was also a great way to cut corners that’s when the devise became a front-runner for the Absurdity Prize.
Have you watched how these devises are used? They blow mostly dirt off the sidewalk and onto the street. I never see them pick up the dirt once they’ve had their fill of blowing it around. Of course anyone with two ounces of logic realizes that the dirt will end up right back where it originally was in no time. Not to mention the dust that’s now swirling around in the air will be landing on windows and cars. And they’re noisy. And they smell. Our new lawn maintenance person is even using them to blow out the flower beds. Seriously, the flower beds. The first time (and last time they’ll do that here) I had the windows open and dust rolled in. I literally was racing around shutting all the windows, which are now covered in dust. Maybe if these guys also had to clean the inside of the house, they would be more sensitive to the havoc they’re unleashing. Why didn’t they come up with something that sucks up the dirt if they’re so intent on using a motorized thing to do the job? Oh yeah, because that would have made sense.
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 Some people are born to gift. You know who I’m talking about. They buy multiple items, all perfectly suited to your taste. They thoughtfully place them in a beautiful bag with fancy ribbon. When they hand it to you, they’re flush with excitement at the anticipation of the reveal.
I am the antithesis of a gifter. I am clumsy at selecting a present that will be exactly what the recipient wanted. I will read disappointment and perplexity in the expression of the receiver. I will feel a little bit embarrassed and lacking when the event is over. For this reason, I do not like holidays where gifts are anticipated. Too much stress and disappointment for me. I am also not good at receiving gifts. I attempt to act excitedly when I open a present, but, secretly I’m plotting how I will return the item at the soonest possible opportunity. This makes me feel sneaky and unappreciative. My gift attitude has been revealed of late and now my family watches me more closely. It seems to me that there are fewer and fewer talented gifters in our world today. An indicator is the absurd number of gift cards that are exchanged. How empty, it seems to me, that I give you a $25 gift card to Home Depot and you give me a $25 gift card to Macy’s. What is the point? And lists. This also seems rather silly to me. Your child makes out his list of wants. As parents, we dutifully go out and obtain said items. We wrap them and give them to the child. Everyone is happy. Again, this seems a bit empty to me. I do the same with grocery shopping – just more frequently. I don’t have an answer to this dilemma of mine. A gift-truce would never be accepted in my family. Alas, I will continue on this path until such time as a realistic solution presents itself.  While we were in a waiting room, my husband turned to me and started listing all of the good things that had happened to us in the month of April. I was actually shocked. We had made significant accomplishments in nearly every aspect of our lives. I was shocked because until he began reciting them, I had been mired in the details of a project that doesn’t seem to want to get done. He had, in just a moment’s time, pulled me out of the abyss and placed me at the 30,000 foot level. That view transformed me for days. What’s intriguing is that I’m usually the optimist of the family – somehow the roles switched that day and thankfully so.
It seems wherever I sit, or stand, within a group, some overly abundant body decides to sit or stand directly in front of me. All my life this has happened. In fact, I’ve begun a collection of photos which I’ve organized into a folder entitled “My View.” One such photo is shown here for clarity (or lack thereof). To compensate for this misfortune, I will almost always select the first row of the balcony whenever there is an opportunity to do so. That way, I can literally see without obstructions. And it also enables me to see the entire situation from above, providing a sharper context of whatever I’m observing. Since I prefer developing strategy opposed to implementing it, I wonder if the skill was developed as a result of my seating propensity. |
Thoughts that are alien to any of my other projects can be found here. Archives
September 2023
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