When it first came out, I was able to see the Broadway musical Cats in New York City. I liked it so much that I saw it again when it played in San Francisco. Before seeing it in San Francisco, I read the book it was based on, Old Possum’s Book of Practical Cats by T.S. Eliot. The grandeur of the set and the beauty of the music were my favorite parts in New York. After reading the book, my second experience was deeper. I now had an understanding about what the songs meant and who the characters were.
Fast forward to now and I was thrilled that they had made the musical into a motion picture. In anticipation of the movie, I found my T.S. Eliot book and reread it. I got busy and couldn’t attend the opening night. My family was aware of my enthusiasm and broke the news to me gently. The reviews, both from critics and viewers were terrible. I was undeterred because I often don’t agree with the reviewers of movies I enjoy.
However, I have never read so many bad reviews on any movie. I made the decision that I would wait until it came out on DVD. In the meantime, my family would periodically read me the latest reviews. I’m now enjoying the creativity of the reviews very much. Have you read them? It’s like there’s a competition for who can trash the movie in the most strenuous way. When I have a few minutes to spare, I now find myself reading the reviews to brighten my day. They are incredibly funny. It’s too bad it’s at the expense of something I really like, but I’m very good at compartmentalizing and thanks to Cats, I now have another source of entertainment.
Someone should really publish a book with many of these reviews. I’ve never seen anything like them. Here is a very small sample:
“Meowch! This film is litter-ally a cat-astrophe.”
“Lacking any of its nine lives: abysmal.”
“Who let the cats out! I got a case of cat scratch fever watching this hairball of a movie.”
“My eyes burn and my soul feels like it’s being ripped out by the devil himself.”
“Cats is a once in a lifetime movie, not since the legendary birdemic have I been so absolutely bamboozled by the cinematic catastrophe that is this film.”
“I am in so much pain right now. Do not watch this under any circumstances, this movie is dangerous to your mental and physical health.”
“Keep a good stack of holy water around if you wanna watch it. This is what Dante saw in one of his dreams.”
“In the Little Box. The movie is ugly to look at and is an assault on the ears. I thought Hudson was trying to cough up a hairball. She should have. It would have been the highlight of the film.”
“I’d rather spend two hours watching a dirty litter box…from inside!”
“I inadvertently hammered a 6" nail into my hand. Yet that was more enjoyable than watching this disaster of a movie.”
“I almost put my cat up for adoption.”
“Turned me into a cat serial killer.”
“The only way this could make sense is if cops play it in interrogation rooms.”
I’m looking forward to watching it on DVD when Redbox releases it. I know, curiosity killed the cat. Wish me luck. Hopefully, I don’t stab my eyes out with a knitting needle.
Thoughts that are alien to any of my other projects can be found here.